Her Butler
by unami
Summary: Imagine knowing your soul is not yours to keep.Imagine knowing your own family sold it to further their ambitions. This is the life of Natasha Howsham, and under the protection of her demon butler,she awaits the day of her marriage and her death.
1. Prologue

She summoned me to grant her wish…

"I need to protect my daughter, so she can grow and marry into a higher family." She proclaimed like so many before her. "I want you to protect her from our world until the day she is safely married to a man who can defend her. I want you to serve her every whim." A demand, the same as all the others.

She summoned me to make a contract…

"You realize the cost of my service, do you not?"

"Yes, yes, and I don't care. When she is married she'll pay you for it all."

"You are not willing to make the sa…"

"No! This is for her not me!"

I smiled, "Very well, but if this her contract, I will need her to agree to it."

The human looked down at the bundle in her arms. "What do you say, baby? Do you want this?"

The young child cooed in agreement with its mother's voice.

She summoned me to sell her daughter's soul…

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**Hope you are intrigued by the prologue. Ciel, Sebastian, and maybe a few others will be making guest appearences in the story later on. Please note the story _is_ rated T for violence, sexual innuendos, and language.**

**Reviews are much appreciated. **

**I do not own the concept of Kuroshitsugi. But I do own any character not mentioned in the official story.**


	2. Morning Thoughts

A light shined into my room as a voice said, "Good morning mistress."

I sat up in my bed, stretched, and look at the owner of the voice. He was tall with black hair, gold eyes, and a gaze that would cause any normal woman to faint. "Today, I have prepared Earl Grey Tea."

"Thank you, Thomas." The man handed me my tea.

"You have a busy day today. Not only do you have guests, but you sister is returning today."

I sighed and looked out the window he had opened. Today was going to be interesting.

-#$#-

I am Natasha Howsham, and on the day I say "I do" I am destined to die.

After an attempt on my life at the age of one, my mother made a contract with a demon to keep me safe, but all she did was seal my fate. A pentacle was placed in the middle of my chest to mark the contract. When my mother saw it, she forbade anyone to see me unclothed. No maids, no seamstresses, no doctors, only Thomas. She hopes that on the day of my marriage the seal will just disappear. What a fool.

As my butler has often explained, she failed to read the fine print. While creating the contract she specifically stated that after I am safely married to a man who can defend me, I will pay him back for his services. Pay back for the demon is my soul. In a sense, my mother sold my soul to further her own ambitions.

But, I almost don't mind. It makes life interesting, knowing how you will die and having an idea of when it will happen. You see the world differently. You watch people and their actions laughing at the absurdity of it all. You know there's no point to advancing your station in life when you're just going to die.

Others would probably use the time they have left and the access to demonic power to do something worthwhile in this world, but not me. Maybe I'm just jaded because I didn't make the decision of my own accord.

-#$#-

"That was a big sigh, my lady. Are you feeling well?" Thomas asked me, interrupting my thoughts.

"Yes, I'm fine," I replied. I turned and looked at him with a grin to match his, "Not that you really care."

"I'm here to serve you and keep you safe, my lady," my demon butler retorted as he bowed.

"Mmph, so you keep reminding me." I sighed again. "Alright, help me get dressed."

As he dressed me, Thomas told me what to expect from the day. "You have two gentlemen coming to see you this morning: one at 10 and the other at noon." Being the daughter of a British noble and Russian lady, it is expected of me to marry well within our class. So nearly every day, since I turned fourteen, my family has arranged for me to meet with the eligible young men of the gentry. "Also, your sister will be coming this afternoon around 3 or so. She will be staying here until her husband returns from India next month."

"Thomas, with today's refreshments, make me something sweet. I need something to get me through the day."

He bowed with his left hand over his chest, "Yes, my lady."

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**You guys still with me? Sorry the chapter is short, but that is how most of them are going to be.  
This story is mostly about my OC and her butler. Ciel, Sebastion, and maybe a few others will show up in later chapters but for now enjoy.**

**Reviews are appreciated. Also, I do not own the concept of Kuroshitsugi or any cannon characters from the original story.**


	3. Greetings

All of the gentlemen callers are handsome, intelligent, and rich, but they are all so dull. The meetings are always the same.

He starts off, "Good morning, Miss Natasha. You look lovely this morning." Then he kisses my hand and I reply, "Why thank you, and good morning to you." Next we move to the parlor for some refreshments served by Thomas. Inane conversations follow this, as I show off my intelligence (but not too much, I don't want to be seen as unmaidenly) and my naivety of being a young woman. We continue talking until it is time for him to leave. As Thomas escorts him out, I collect my thoughts and prepare to do the whole procedure over again.

During the time I spend with them I find myself comparing the young men to my butler. This one's not as tall, the other is not as poised, another is not as balanced. After all of these years, it has become obvious that none of these boys could ever hold my attention for long, for it seems no one can hold a candle to my demon keeper.

Fortunately, I only had to deal with two of them today. We were done within three hours.

Unfortunately, my sister came to call soon after.

-#$#-

She burst through the door, making herself as annoying as ever. "Hello dears, I'm home."

My mother greeted her with just as much enthusiasm, "Anya, my dear." Kisses on the cheeks, followed by hugs from both my parents, ensued as Anya chatted up a storm. The men she flirted with used to say that I would never need to speak because she spoke enough for the both of us.

I was able to avoid most of the greetings to and from my sister. When the one-sided conversation lagged, I said my hellos. The next thing I knew, I couldn't breath and a nattering voice was grating against my eardrums.

"Natasha! My, you've grown," she held me at arm's length, "and in a very flatter way, I might add. Oh, you must have so many handsome young men clamoring for your attention. But, you really should wear something more flattering. Having your hair in a bun and a dress that covers everything won't get you very far with the boys." She was circling me, poking my hair and my sides as if I were a horse at auction. "You should put your hair in curls and were something like my old dresses. I think I still have a few of them. We could alter them for you and have those boys dropping like flies."

Before she could go off on another tangent, I interrupted. "Anya, slow down. You haven't even been here for an hour, and you're already trying to help me get a fiancé."

She sighed and looked at me. "You are right, dearie. I should slow down, especially in my condition. You know that's the only reason I'm not in India with my Georgie. He didn't want to risk something happening to me or the baby. Oh, he's so sweet. You know we really need to find you someone like him. Maybe not as quiet, but someone as sweet and caring…"

"Anya. You're here for thirty days or so, slow down. We'll get to it eventually."

She smiled at me, and, with the drop of a hat, she had me in a death grip squealing "Oh, we're going to have so much fun! And…I'm going to help you land a fiancé in time for the Queen's Ball!"

Not for the first time, I wondered if I should order Thomas to pull her off of me. In the end I decide not to. Yes, my older sister was…excitable, but I hoped it was her pregnancy making her so crazy. I barely survived her before she was married, and I didn't know how long I would last with her this time.

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**Sorry the chapter is short, but that is how most of them are going to be.  
This story is mostly about my OC and her butler. Ciel, Sebastion, and maybe a few others will show up in later chapters but for now enjoy.**

**Reviews are much appreciated. Also, I do not own the concept of Kuroshitsugi or any cannon characters from the original story.**


	4. Meetings

Now that my sister was conspiring with my mother my morning schedule changed. Instead of meeting so many young aristocrats in a day, I would now meet with only one for a couple of days to get to know them.

This new regimen began with a young lord named Alan Longwood. He had light brown hair with green eyes that left my sister sighing. He was sweet to me, brought me flowers, he even _humored _me with a game of chess. Anya and my mother both seemed to like him, and even I thought Lord Alan wasn't so bad, for a human. I knew we would change nobles soon but for now I could deal with Lord Alan.

-#$#-

"Excuse me miss, Lady Anya would like to see you in the library." A little maid said to me when she found me in the gardens after dealing with Lord Alan. She curtsied and went inside quickly to avoid any questions.

I sighed, "She either wants to know what happened today or she's changing my schedule already. I wonder who she has for me next." So I wandered into library and met with my sister.

"Father is meeting a powerful young man tomorrow. He'll be coming here. You should entertain him until Father can see him." She was sitting in the big overstuffed chair pretending to read.

"Why? If Father scheduled the meeting, he shouldn't keep his guest waiting."

"Because, _Father wants_ you to meet him. He is young, rich, and very powerful. He already has a fiancé, but it will be good to be friends with him for your future husband."

I sighed, once again this is for my future and my husband not me. "Just who am I meeting then?"

-#$#-

"My lady, may I present the Earl of Phantomhive, Ciel." One of the servants introduced a small boy, no more than thirteen, with black hair and a bright blue eye (he had a patch over the other). Behind this young lord was a tall man with black hair and brown eyes. He stood behind Ciel unnoticeable, almost like the boy's shadow. He was a butler, and he was perfect. The way he stood, the way he observed everyone in the room, the way he marked every possible weapon and escape route reminded me of Thomas. And that's what made me suspicious.

A bored voice interrupted my concentration, "Sebastian, I thought I was meeting with Lord Howsham, not a little girl."

The boy had seated himself in one of the chairs and leaned his head against a fist. I smiled like a perfect hostess. "You must forgive my Father, my lord. Something very important came up and he couldn't postpone it to meet with you. He asked me to entertain you while you wait."

The boy looked at me as if I were nothing more than a flea. "Then that is when I shall return. Let's go Sebastian." The man bowed, the boy stood up, and I threw a knife.

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**Another short chapter but oh well. Like I promised here are Ciel and his super hot butler, Sebastian. ****I dont not own the concept of Kuroshitsugi or the cannon characters. review plz!**

**oh and virtual birthday cake (from yesterday) for RenKun-Sensei and Night'swhisper18 for their encouraging comments.**


	5. Conversation

A small silver blade came flying towards me from the girl's hand. Moving faster than any normal person, Sebastian grabbed the knife from the air and moved to throw the knife at her head, but he stopped. I looked up at him and saw an amused grin on his face

"I see I'm not the only one with a butler who is more than he seems."

I looked at the girl. She had thrown a knife at me, and now she was acting as if it were an audition. Behind her was a man standing with glowing red eyes. Sebastian threw the knife back and the girl's butler caught it. He stashed the knife in his coat as he and Sebastian stared each other down.

She smiled a cold calculating smile, "Thomas, why don't you and Sebastian go make some tea. The earl of Phantomhive and I have some things to discuss." A smile tugged at the corner of her mouth.

"Yes Sebastian, some tea would be nice."

"Yes, my lord." "Yes, my lady." They responded, bowing at the same time. Thomas led Sebastian out the doors and down the hall.

When they were gone, I faced my new opponent. "Well, my lady, what do we need to discuss?"

"Let's play a game of chess." I looked at her confused. "We can hold our discussion as we play. We'll each ask the other questions until we are satisfied with the answers or until my father shows up for his meeting."

"Alright, let's play." She set up the chess board with the white pieces facing me.

"As the guest you may make the first move. Each turn we may ask a question of our opponent. You can't pass an answer, and if you pass a turn you forfeit a question."

"Sounds simple enough." I moved a pawn forward two spaces. "For my first question, how did you know what Sebastian really is?"

"His stance and movements were a little too much like Thomas's, perfect in every way. No human can be that perfect, only demons and angels. I should know I've spent enough time comparing them to Thomas." She was blushing behind her mask as she moved her pawn into position. "My question. Why did you make a contract with Sebastian? I would have thought a powerful lord like the Earl of Phantomhive wouldn't need a demon."

I smiled, "I didn't make the contract because of my position as an Earl. I made it to get revenge for the murder of my family." She nodded her head and I moved another pawn. "What about you? Why did you make the contract?" I looked up from the chessboard and saw her smile and her eyes cloud over with bitterness.

"I didn't make the contract." _That made no sense. How could she have a demon butler if she didn't make a contract?_ "My mother made the contract _for_ me after I was nearly killed after my first birthday. But instead of making a sacrifice for her daughter, she told Thomas I would bear the consequences."

"I see." She sat for a little while looking at the chessboard, her eyes darting back and forth as if she were playing her own game in her head. I cleared my throat, "It's your turn, Lady Natasha."

"Oh, right."

-#$#-

I escorted Sebastian Michaelis to the kitchen so we could make the tea for our masters. We were quiet at first, waiting for the water to boil and searching for the ingredients for the teas. However, the demon bastard couldn't keep his mouth shut.

"I'm surprised you took this girl on, _Thomas Fitzgerald_. From all the rumors I've heard about you, I would have thought you preferred someone going all out for their dreams." Sebastian chuckled. _Annoying pest_. "Lady Natasha, on the other hand, seems apathetic to nearly everything, and has no ambition. Were you just desperate for a soul to eat?"

"It's the circumstances of the contract that make her soul appealing." I replied as I made my mistress white green tea with hint of honey.

"Oh?"

"The mother made the contract, but her daughter will bear the consequences."

"That's different. But how does it create an enticing soul?"

"Imagine knowing that your soul is not yours to keep. Imagine knowing your own family sold it to further their ambitions. She knows who made the contract and why. Because of this, she is apathetic to everything, but she is dying for revenge. That desire will make its way through before the contract is complete. I'll make sure of it."

He smiled at me, "Well, enjoy yourself."

We walked back out to serve tea to our masters.

-#$#-

Our butlers interrupted us with our tea, so we paused our discussion and drank in silence. I knew she was thinking about our conversation and in truth so was I. I almost felt pity for her, but I knew she wouldn't want it so I kept quiet. After we were finished we continued our game. I almost had her in checkmate when a servant announced Lord Howsham.

"My lord Ciel, I deeply apologize for making you wait so long."

"It is alright. Your daughter kept me suitably entertained." I nodded at her and she smiled.

"Of course, my lord. Natasha, please leave. This is men's work and no place for a girl."

Natasha stood up and curtsied. "Yes, Father. My lord, Sebastian, I hope to see you again."

"Lady Natasha." She left the room and I turned to look at the tardy Lord Howsham. "So what was so important that you needed me to meet you right away?"

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**It is very,_ very_ hard to write Ciel. I had to rewrite their conversations 5 times until it actually sounded like him. *sigh* Oh well, here's the new chapter. Reviews are most welcome.**

**I DO NOT own kuroshitsugi, ciel, or sebastian. I do, however, own every thing else. Mwahahaha!**

**Anyway...REVIEW PLEASE.**


	6. Breaking Point

**Review Responses**

**diamondkat12: Thanks for the compliment and I'm happy my story is different enough for you to enjoy.**

**jade23741: Enjoy!**

**RenKun-Sensei: I'm really glad your enjoying the story. Thank you for your many encouraging reviews.**

***wow i say enjoy a lot ^^;* Anyway here we go...**

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Meeting with Ciel made my life interesting for a little while. I was able to take the gentleman callers with more ease because I was mulling over our conversation and all it implied. However I could not stand the interrogation conducted by Anya and my mother. Speaking in Russian so no one could undertand what they said, they would pester me nonstop about the boy I talked to that day.

"What did he say? How much did he smile? Did you make him feel welcome?" This would go on for hours and it became very annoying.

After two and half weeks my mother asked the question that made me reach the end of my patience. "Natasha, how do you feel about young Lord Cornelius? We found him a trifle stuffy for you. But, what do you think?"

I snapped. "Mother, why don't you just tell me who you want for a son-in-law? Why don't you tell me who you want to fulfill the contract, instead of making me go through this bullshit? Because to be honest, I don't fucking care!" Both my mother and my sister were staring at me in shock. I don't know if it was because I lost my temper or because I used 'such vulgar words,' but I really didn't care. I was tired of these bitches pretending to leave my future up to me when they were planning ways to elevate their own stations. "Call for me when you make a decision." I stood and walked out of the room as calmly as I could. Thomas followed me, smirking at something.

-#$#-

That night, for the first time in years, I cried. I cried out all my anger, all my hate, and when I finished I had Thomas prepare me for bed. The bastard was still smirking at something and it was annoying me. "What are you smiling at, you damn demon?"

"You are certainly volatile today, mistress," he replied coolly, as he finished brushing my hair.

"Of course I am! My family pissed me off!" _Damn! _I felt the tears coming again. I balled my hands into fists, "Why can't they just let me live in peace so I can die in peace?"

Breaking down again, I turned around and buried my face in Thomas's chest, startling my stoic butler. "Why does it seem that the only one who cares for me is the one who wants to eat my soul?" Thomas wrapped his arms around me and let me cry myself out.

-#$#-

I guess I must have fallen asleep, because I felt myself being placed on my bed and being covered by my comforter. As I drifted back to sleep I heard, "Sweet dreams, my lady."

His blessing took hold that night. I dreamt of a memory of my first encounter with death.

_You could hear cries of sorrow echo through the entire manor that night. My darling cat Nikky died that day, and I would not stop crying. The servants tried everything, cookies, toys, sweets, everything, but they couldn't calm me down. Finally, my mother came in. _

"_Sweetie, you really need to stop crying. It was just a cat. We can always get another." That didn't help._

"_Nikky wasn't just a cat, she was my friend! I don't want another one! I want Nikky!" My sobs got louder and my mother stormed out of my room._

_On her way out she yelled at someone, "You try calming her down!"_

_My butler came in and sat on the edge of my bed."There is no need to be sad, mistress," he said softly._

"_Yes_ hic_ there is," I sobbed, "Nikky's _hic_ dead."_

"_But, you don't need to be sad. You're going to die, too." I stopped crying when I heard that. I sat up and stared at Thomas. "You're going to die just like Nikky, only it will be on your wedding day."_

"_You told me that before. Am I really?"_

"_Yes, my lady."_

"_Will I be with Nikky?"_

"_Perhaps, my lady." I smiled, his quiet threat comforting me. Jumping with happiness, I hugged my butler and asked for something sweet._

-#$#-

My family left me alone for a whole week after my little outburst. They wouldn't even speak to me during meals or anything. It was nice, quiet, and peaceful for a while. I could walk in the gardens all I wanted, I could read as much I desired, and I could even play chess with Thomas. I will admit, for a demon, Thomas is an extremely talented player. He even taught me a few new maneuvers that I've never even seen before.

Unfortunately, all nice things in my life come to an end. I was wandering around the gardens one day when a maid came up to me. "Excuse me miss, but your sister requests you see her in the library."

"Do you know why?"

"It's not my place to ask, my lady." She curtsied and hurried back into the house.

I sighed, "Thomas, you don't need to follow me into the library. Go do whatever it is you do when you're not watching me. I call you if I need anything."

He bowed his head, "Yes, my lady."

I enter the house and made my way through the halls. Wondering if my sister was going to yell at me or apologize, I walked into the library and everything went black...

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**Please excuse the multitude of curses. I was having a bad day, and the words fit the situation. ****Disclaimer: I do not own kuroshitsugi or Ciel. Claimer: I own everything else!**


	7. Eventful Afternoon

I left my mistress in the garden and made my way to the parlor. The Howsham family had a beautiful grand piano set up, but no one in the family, save for my mistress, played. It was supposed to be there for display purposes only. I sat down and began playing the unfinished work of one of my former masters, _Requiem Mass in D minor_. Mozart was one of my favorite souls. He summoned me to help turn his financial circumstances around. I helped him compose some of his greatest works, but we never officially finished the piece because his time ran out. His situation had changed and it was time for me to eat his soul. His final illness covered his death.

I was in the middle of the piece when the door opened, and Natasha's mother came in. "Oh, Thomas, it's you who's playing. I thought it was Natasha…never mind. Have you seen Natasha? Anya sent a maid into the garden to fetch her, but she never came. Do you know where she is?"

I bowed to the woman my mistress hated with all her heart, "I haven't seen her since she was asked to see Lady Anya in the library. Perhaps she is still in the garden.'

The human flapped her hand at me, "Then go and fetch her. Her little outbreak last week does not give her an excuse for being rude to her family." She walked out the door and went back to her life.

"Of course, my lady." Her family wasn't concerned, but I was. It wasn't like my mistress to wander off or outwardly disobey her family. I walked into the garden and heard a whisper, "Thomas."

-#$#-

The first thing I noticed as I came to was a mumble of voices. People were talking and laughing over something. I opened my eyes slightly to identify who the voices belonged to. Three men were sitting at a table smoking and playing some sort of card game. I move my head slightly so my hair covered my eyes, and so they wouldn't be able to see I was awake yet.

One of the men turned and looked at me, smirking. "She is sweet lookin' ain't she? Are we sure we can't play?"

Another replied, looking intently at his hand, "No, Stephan. Virgin beauties like her are a hard enough commodity to come by without you guys messin' her up. Besides, once we sell her you can get a whole slew of ladies to play with."

_So that's it, I've been sold for sex labor. Hmph, figures. _I whispered the name of my demon through our contract. I was going to make these men suffer.

One of the men stood up and started walking to me. I closed my eyes and pretended to be limp with sleep. I felt his hand cup my chin and lift my head. "We wouldn't want to decrease our profits now would we gentlemen?"

"Hehe, yeah. The more we make, the better our shares."

I decided it was time to wake up. "Uh…Where am I?" I opened my eyes and tried to move backwards, "Who are you? Where am I?"

The man who held my chin was now patting my head in reassurance. "No need to worry sweetheart, no one's going to hurt you here." The men still at the table both nodded as they tried to hide their laughter. _Sure, play with the girl's head, and then sell her body to the highest bidder. You are defiantly going to suffer for this._ "Then could you untie me and let me go home?"

The one called Stephan broke out in a fit of laughter, while the one sitting next to him said, "Why would we want to do that girlie? You are meal ticket, and we don't want you to run away on us."I pretended to squeak and shake with fear.

The others joined in laughing with Stephan.

Then we heard a knock….

_It's about time._

-#$#-

_Knock, knock._ We jumped up and pulled out our guns. Stephan moved to the side of the door and Emilio stood in front of door, his gun ready to fire. "Who's there?" Emilio asked calmly.

"A representative of the Howsham family. I am here to pick up my young mistress."

We exchanged looks of fear. _How could this guy know we had her?_ I nodded at Emilio, giving him the okay to kill. "Sorry sir, you came to the wrong door."

No, I'm sure this is the right door. My mistress called fro…." (**a/n**: **imagine a machine gun shoot off through a door**)

"Like I said, wrong door." Out of the corner of my eye I saw the tear run down the girl's face. _Is she crying because the man is dead or because that was her last chance to get away?_ Emilio turned around, "Let's move the goods and get our money." He took a step forward and fell on his face. A knife was protruding from his back.

I looked at the door. The door wasn't there anymore and now a man in black was standing there. He walked into the room, "I have come for my mistress." Stephan jumped behind the man and shot him full of holes.

"That should keep the bastard down." Stephan walked up to the body and nudged him with his foot. "Yep, he's dead. Let's get out of here."

I picked the girl up from the ground, but she wasn't crying anymore. She had a strange look on her face, a deranged amused look. "Thomas, get up. You have work to do." We stared at her in confusion. _Why was she talking to a dead guy?_

From the floor we heard the man's voice say, "Yes, my lady." Stephan turned around ready to shoot again, but he didn't get a chance. In less than a second, a bloody gloved hand was sticking out through his back. His body fell on top of Emilio's, and the man in black started coming for me.

I pointed my gun at the girl's head. "Don't take another step! If you come any closer I'll blow her head off!" The man stopped. "Now, I'm gonna walk out the door with this girl and you're not gonna follow. If you do I'll kill her." I started walking, my arm around the girl's neck and my gun on her head. The man followed us with his eyes, his crimson eyes.

"Thomas, I said to get to work. That means get him off of me!" I was so startled by the girl's voice that I pulled the trigger. The next thing I know she is staring at me from across the room, sitting in the very chair I sat in less than ten minutes ago. The man in black stood behind her holding something. He handed it to the girl. It was my bullet.

"W-what are you?"

The girl looked at the man, "Thomas, I want you to make this man suffer. Do whatever you want to, but make sure you get the name of the person who hired him before you kill." I took a step back. The girl's voice was menacing, and what was even more menacing was the look on the man's face. His black hair framed his glowing crimson eyes, and he smiled a smile I identified with a cold blooded killer. Somehow I knew I would never forget that face for the rest of my life…

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**Hope you're liking my story so far, and that Natasha is no where near a mary-sue. review, Review, REVIEW**

**I don't own kuroshitsugi, but i do own this story.**


	8. Sister Talk

While I despise books, the library is a nice place to sit and wait. Mother sent Thomas to look in the gardens for Natasha, so I left to sit in the library. I walked into the library, and sat down in one of the smaller armchairs. It was quiet and empty, then I heard a voice that made me jump clear to Siberia.

"Hello, Anya." My sister walked into the library as cool as ice and seated herself across from me. "Thomas, close the door."

"Yes, my lady."

I looked at Thomas, then my younger sister. _What's going on? She's not..._ I felt something cold across my throat. I shifted my gaze downward to see a gloved hand with a knife against my neck.

"Let's get right to the point, dear sister," Natasha spoke with an eerie calm and a cold smile that scared me more than the knife. "You sold me to people who deal in sex labor, today."

It was a statement not a question. I opened my mouth to speak but she held up her hand. "Don't waste your breath denying it. It won't help your situation. I just want to know why."

I continued to stare at her. _How could she know? I never discussed any of the transaction within the manor. I even used a third party to keep my name out of it. So, how does she know?_ Trying to catch her off guard, to distract her, I babbled.

"I really don't know what you're talking about, dearie. I only…" Her eyes flashed with anger and the knife dug deeper into my throat.

"I warned you not to do that. Now, why did you sell me?"

I couldn't take that smug smile she wore anymore. I looked her in the eye, "Because, you're an ungrateful little wretch! Mother and I try to find you nice, wealthy suitors that would make excellent husbands, but you just brush them off. We try to raise your station in life, and you just walk away with your shadow in tow. You have no regard for anyone!"

It felt exhilarating to finally tell the brat what I thought of her, and with each word I felt more confident. "So, yes I sold you. I sold you so Mother could move on from getting you married off, so we could climb further up in society without you bringing us down." I smiled at the little girl who had made my life misery since she turned twelve, "What are you going to do about it?"

I thought I had her with that question, but she just kept smiling. "Me? I'm not going to do anything." As she said that, the knife moved away and I took a deep breath. "The men you sold me to are dead, you won't need to worry about returning their money, Mother and Father believe I was in the gardens all day, and no one else knew of your little conspiracy. Why should I bother exposing you?"

I stared at her in disbelief as she continued talking. "To be quite honest, I really don't care what schemes you and mother concoct to get higher social standing. I could care less about the eligible men you shove down my throat. All that matters to me is that your little projects don't threaten me in any shape or form."

All of a sudden her voice changed, her eyes got a strange look in them, and she leaned forward menacingly. "If they do, I can guarantee you won't live through the night. Do I make myself clear, Anya Cogstirn?"

I nodded, scared clear out of my wits. My younger sister stood up and made for the door. "I'm glad we had this chat, Anya. Perhaps we could do it again." And with that she left, her long black shadow following her out the door.

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**I know another short chapter, but it just didn't go with anything else. Thanks to all my readers for adding me to their favs and story alerts. *hands out virtual cookies to all* I'm glad everyone seems to like my story. **

**There maybe a slight wait for chapter 8, i have essays and stuff to write for college and they take priority. *plots devious murders of papers* Anyway... on to the o****bligatory disclaimer!**

** i DO NOT own the concept kuroshitsugi, but ****i do own everything else written here.**


	9. Lessons

I went from the library to my father's office. As I walked through the house I started laughing. Anya's reaction was so perfect.

I composed myself, knocked on the door, and waited to be invited in.

"Enter."

When I entered, I noticed both my parent were in the room. _Good, I won't have to do this twice. _"Mother, Father, I apologize for making you worry. I was distracted in the garden after Anya asked to see me. A rare butterfly was sitting on a rose…"

"I do not want to hear any of your excuses," my father interrupted. I stopped my explanation.

My mother continued, "You are a lady and a future wife. If you are asked to make yourself present, you make yourself present. You do not make your host wait. Understand?"

I hung my head in what appeared as shame. "I understand. Once again, I do apologize."

"Did you see your sister?"

"Yes, and I apologized to her as well."

"Very well," I was dismissed. I left the office and walked to the parlor.

-#$#-

_They weren't even worried about me. All they cared about was that I was _late_ for a meeting. I guess that proves that I'm nothing more than a marketable item to them, and until I'm married with a child on the way, that's all I'll ever be. My sister cares even less about me than they do. _I felt a lone tear slide down my cheek. _Come on Natasha, she sold you because you were holding them back. No one will miss you when you're gone. So, make them remember…make them suffer…"_

_**CRASH! **_I jumped and fell backwards off the bench I was sitting on. I looked up, and saw my butler grinning at me.

"You really should pay attention, my lady." I glared at him. He smiled even more and adopted a nattering voice similar to that of my sister, "Perhaps the today's events were too overwhelming for you. Here, let's get you to bed with some warm milk and…"

"Shut up, Thomas." I stood up, brushed off my skirt, and put my hands on my hips. "And don't patronize me. I'm not a helpless little girl."

"You were in the flat this afternoon," he retorted.

"I was just playing the part," I replied indignantly. _What made me fall in love with this demon? Wait…in love? I'm not in love! He just my caretaker and killer, who happens to be really hot, sweet, and…GAH! Stop that! Focus on the matter at hand, arguing . _"I'm not helpless."

"Of course, my lady." He retorted.

"_Grrr_. Just teach me the rest of the song already. I'll pay attention this time." Thomas just chuckled and started the lesson all over again.

-#$#-

Of all the useless things humans have _invented_, the piano is my favorite. The way it changes from a high staccato sound to a low long sound, moving smoothly and gracefully, always mesmerized me. And souls touched by the piano fascinate me as well. The percussion instrument taints the soul of the listener and consumes the soul of the player, whether the person enjoys it or not. Over the centuries, I've made it a point to have my contracted souls at least listen to the piano, if not learn it.

But, Natasha is different from the other souls I've contracted. Not only does she actually enjoy the piano and the pieces I teach her, but she is also able to make the piano reflect her feelings. The music coming from her fingers has become darker and darker as she's gotten older.

Today was a beautiful example of this. After I snapped her out of her thoughts, by slamming on the piano keys, I began teaching her Mozart's KV. 459, no. 19 a piano concerto from earlier in his life. It is a sunny and happy song with an even happier ending. At first the song sounded happy as she started learning the piece, but, as the lesson continued, the music became more ominous. She was playing the same notes in the same time as the original, but it came out darker when she played it. I smiled and almost licked my lips in anticipation of eating such a fascinating soul.

"Thomas," after three hours of piano is was a surprise to hear her voice, "I think it's time to end this little charade."

"What charade would that be, my lady?"

She started the concerto again, and this time it was darker than any other time before. "My life. I'm ready and I think it's time to tell my family how I really feel."

My eyes glowed their normal demon red, "Yes, my lady."

**Here's chapter 8! I know short again, but they just don't seem to need the length.**

**For the next few chapters i will list the music that either inspired the scenes or how a character seemed to sound to me. For this chapter, I kept hearing "Long, Long Time Ago" from **_**Pan's Labryrinth**_** whenever Natasha played the piano. Listen to it and see if you can hear what I mean. **

**Thank you RenKun-Sensei for always giving me such encouraging reviews.**

**Disclaimer time: I do not own the concept of kuroshitsuji Claimer: I own everything else about this story!**


	10. The Queen's ball

My father called me into his office the next day. I entered to find him at his desk doing paperwork. I stood in front of his desk until he was ready to speak to me. Never even bothering to look up from the papers he addressed me. "Lord Alan has asked to escort you to the Queen's ball at the end of the month. We have accepted on your behalf."

"When did he ask?"

"It does not matter. What does matter is the fact that you are going. He stared me down as if would keep me from rebelling. "Your mother has already picked a dress for you. You are to do a fitting and have the seamstress tailor it. Understand?"

"Of course, Father." I curtsied and left the room.

We found the dress in my room with a seamstress and two other women. They all curtsied and the seamstress spoke to me, "Good afternoon, my lady. I am Eleni Neetleton and these are my assistants, Mary and Anne." She pointed to each in turn. "If you will please send your butler away, you can get changed and we can start the fitting."

I unconsciously took a step back into my butler, my hand on my chest. My heart felt hollow. _Change in front of someone other than Thomas? No, I can't. _It wasn't that I was afraid they would discover the pentacle, I just felt as if they were trying to replace my demon. (_I know, completely irrational but I was in a slight panic at the thought._) I looked up at my butler, my eyes pleading. He smiled at me and stepped forward to speak to the women.

"Ladies, it is I who must ask you to leave for a moment." They looked at him confused. "Lady Natasha is extremely shy about changing in front of strangers, even such meaningful ones as yourselves. So, if you please." He held the door open for them, "Once she is dressed I'll let you back in." The women were absolutely enthralled by him. His good looks and velvety voice always had that affect on women. I caught myself about to growl at them as if I were a dog. I shook my head. _Stop it! He's not your lover, he's you killer. Get your head back in the game._

Thomas shut the door and returned to my side. He undid the back of my dress and allowed the top to fall about my waist so he could undo the corset. Once the constricting whalebone contraption was removed he started to pull the dress off. His hands rested on my hips for a moment. For some reason it felt like they belonged there, but, before I could explore the feeling further, he moved his hands away. I stepped out of the dress while he went to grab the new one off the mannequin.

The dress was a pale dusty blue with black lace to accent my eyes and complement my hair. He brought it over and instructed me to step in. He raised the garment up my body, his soft gloved hands brushing up my arms then down my back as he tied the corset and clasped the dress. I shivered at his feather like touch.

Thomas let the seamstress and her assistants back in. They bustled about altering the dress to show more of my figure. When they finished, Mistress Eleni clasped her hands, "You look absolutely stunning, my lady. I doubt I could make you look any more perfect." Anne and Mary nodded in agreement.

I gave them a courtier's smile. The dress did look wonderful. Mother always had a taste for what her daughters should wear to appear beautiful. I sighed. _This charade will be over soon. All I have to do is convince him to marry me and everything will fall into place._

-#_**TIME-SKIP**_#-

On the night of the ball, my father engaged me a game of chess in the library. While we played he quizzed me on the proper behavior of a young woman when she is alone with a man. He also explained the role of a chaperone. Thomas was to be our chaperone that evening. He would watch us and make sure nothing "inappropriate" could occur. I stayed the obedient daughter nodding my head and answering "Yes Father" to everything.

A knock came on the door of the library. Thomas entered with Lord Alan following him. The young lord was handsome, but tonight his flat brown hair and dull green eyes clashed with his vivid blue waist coat. He seemed unsure of himself, his shoulders were slouched and his eyes were nervous. Next to Thomas, he looked almost pathetic.

"My lord, may I present Alan Longwood." Alan bowed to my father and they shook hands.

Then my father gestured to me and I stepped forward, "And may I present my daughter, Natasha." I curtsied, he bowed, and then he kissed the back of my hand.

"My lady, you look as stunning as ever." I blushed and giggle at the compliment. He then gestured to the door. "Shall we?" I took his hand and we walked to the carriage, my butler following us.

-#$#-

The carriage ride was silent and awkward. Alan and Thomas sat next to each other, making Alan even more nervous. The young noble looked as if he wanted to tell me something, but couldn't find the words. Having a tall man with intense gold eyes sitting next to him certainly did not help his nerves.

I have to admit it was quite amusing. _Maybe the ball won't be so annoying._

-#$#-

We entered the palace and followed everyone else into the main ballroom. It was a work of art in itself. The chandeliers glowed with gold light; the walls were covered with warm red drapes and accents; everything looked perfect. Everyone stood around and talked, waiting for the arrival of the guest of honor.

"Well this is a surprise. You finally have a date." a voice said behind me.

I spun around and saw the Earl of Phantomhive with a little blond girl attached to his arm. "Well met, Lord Ciel." He smirked, "Is this your fiance?"

"This is Elizabe..."

"Call me Lizzy. Wow! Your dress looks gorgeous! Such a pretty color and the lace...OOOHHH!" I laughed at the girl's enthusiasm. She was perfect for the pessimistic lordling.

"Announcing Her Majesty, the Queen." We all turned and bowed to the woman entering from the double doors at the one end of the room. She walked down the center to the throne followed by her sons and daughters and their spouses.

Once she was seated, she clapped her hands the orchestra began to play. "I better go and give my greetings to the Queen. I'll see you around, Lady Natasha." Ciel and Lizzy walked away.

"You know Ciel Phantomhive?" I almost forgot Alan was there.

"Yes. He is a good friend. We have alot in common." I turned to him and changed the subject. "Come on let's dance, so the chaperone doesn't get suspcious of your intentions." He paled at that thought as I pulled him onto the dance floor.

The first dance was a traditional waltz, and then it moved onto the Irish Trot, Gallop Quadrille, and Military Two-Step. After a while, Alan asked if I would like to see the gardens. I answered, "Yes, of course. But, let me ditch the chaperone, then we can view them in privacy." I walked over to Thomas and told him of our intentions. He nodded and walked off somewhere, leaving Alan and I together alone.

-#$#-

The gardens were a beautiful sight. Even at night in the beginning of October, the flowers were blooming and the colors were vibrant. We sat on a bench in silence for a while. I took the time to observe the moon and the stars while I waited for him to summon the courage to speak his mind.

"Natasha," he finally began, "I am the head of my family. My mother is pushing me to get married. Of all the girls I've talked to, you are the one I enjoy being around the most. You're beautiful, poised, and intelligent, nothing like the vapid girls my mother arranges for me to meet." He went on to praise me and describe why I was so much more interesting than the others. I began to tune him out, focusing instead on the flowers around us. When he finally got to the point I was slightly surprised, "And that's why I would like to you marry me."

I must have looked perplexed because he immediately backed down. "I mean it would be completely political. We can just stay friends."

_He's making this too easy_. "No, my lord. I would like that. If this is a proposal, I accept."

"Truly?"

"Yes, but I do have a question."

"Yes?"

"If I was ever in danger, could you protect me?"

"My lady, I would defend you until Hell froze over."

_Interesting choice of words._ "Then, yes Alan Longwood, I would be glad to marry you."

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**Sorry, I'm two days late. *goes to kill term paper* I also apologize if the chapter seems abrupt, but it just wasn't flowing in my mind. It is also my longest chapter o.O**

**Anyway, like always i don't own the concept of kuroshitsuji, ciel, elizabeth, or anyone from the original story. But i own everything else.**

**for inspiration...look the dances up on youtube. You'll see why she might find the ball annoying.**

**Please review!**


	11. Dinner Parties

**Now back to our regularly scheduled updates. I'm back to updating on Fridays . Please enjoy.**

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A week after the ball, Alan and I told our families of our engagement. Needless to say both of our mothers were ecstatic that we finally found a fiancé, however our engagement still needed to be approved by the entire family. As per tradition, he was to be introduced to my family first.

Mother hosted a dinner party for the family to meet Lord Alan. Only my father's side of the family came: his parents, older sister, her husband, and her children. My mother's family stayed in Russia, the snows would prove too much for them to leave and come to London.

Because it was a family event there was no need to organize dinner partners. The spouses sat together and the children sat at the end. Mother offered cucumber soup for the first course and baked dover sole for the second. For the entrée we could choose either pheasant mandarin or veal escalopes with mushrooms. A choice of mayonnaise of chicken or charlotte rouse was available for the final course.

After we finished eating, Mother, Grandmother, Aunt Catherine, her children, and I adjourned to the parlor for tea and light chatter, while the men stayed in the dining for beer and to talk. A little while later, Alan, my uncle, and Father returned to the parlor and we played games until late.

Alan and I said our goodbyes, "Don't forget about next week."

I smirked, but made it look like a smile, "I won't. I am looking forward to it."

-#$#-

Once the groom has been introduced to bride's family, the bride is then introduced to his. Lady Longwood held another dinner party.

When I arrived with Thomas, a maid escorted me into the parlor. The room was filled with both sides of Alan's family. Everyone stared at me as Alan ran over to me and took my arm. He smiled and began to introduce me to everyone. There were so many names and faces that I would never see again, I didn't try to remember. A maid came in and whispered in Lady Longwood's ear.

She clapped her hands for everyone's attention, "Ladies and gentlemen, dinner is ready" She held her arm out to her brother and they lead everyone into the dining room.

We had Julienne Soup for the first course, red mullet for the second, a choice of spring chicken and whitebait for our entrée, and another choice of roast duck and strawberries for the third.

Once again, the men and the women separated. While we drank our tea the ladies of the family interviewed me. Each question was a test. One wrong answer and I was out.

"Tell us about your mother. I understand she is from Russia. Does she know anyone of the Imperial family?"

_The first test._ I smiled, "Yes, she has a good friend in Tzarina Marie Feodorovna, and her nephew is a companion of Tsarevich Nicholas."

"How very interesting. And what about your father? Seeing as he has no sons, will his company go to his nephew?"

_Test number two._ "That depends on my uncle and George, my sister's husband. Both are a part of the company and will make that descision when the time comes." They nodded in understanding.

We went on to discuss the ball and how wonderful it was. We also talked about the upcoming winter, the spring court season, and the expected babies of the noble families. Thomas brought me another cup of tea, causing one of the women look at us questionably. "Child, why do you only have a butler to attend you? It is unseemingly for a young woman to be alone with an unmarried man."

_Test number three._ "Well you see my mother trusts no one but Thomas with my care. It stems from the fact that one of our maids killed my nursemaid and tried to kill me when I was just an infant." I added hints of tears to gain sympathy.

"Oh, I see."

An awkward silence followed, broken only when the men came back into the parlor.

The conversation shifted the family and their friends and how they were doing. Financial situations, who got married, who gave birth, which had died, and so on. Alan's uncle performed some magic tricks, mesmerizing the other guests with his skill.

It was all very boring. I just smiled, looked pretty, and answered any questions directed at me. They weren't happy for _us_, they were happy the head of the family would now have a wife and sequentially an heir. But, everything was going according to plan.

We left the Longwood manor, getting into the carriage and driving off. I was staring out the window, when Thomas brought my attention back to reality. "My lady, I have discovered who hired that woman to kill you all those years ago."

My eyes went wide, "Really? Who was it?" It had been five years since I first asked my butler to find out who wanted me dead, and now I would finally know.

"You are certain you want to hear it?"

"Yes! Please tell me."

"William Howsham."

Everything went numb and the world went still. _William Howsham…my father._ I chuckled with an empty laugh. "I am a fool. Here I thought that maybe he loved me, that his forcing the marriage was his way of showing affection for his daughter. Looks like I was wrong. I'm just a second daughter, a burden."

I looked out the window again as tear fell down my cheek. _I really am alone._

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I promise next chapter will be more interesting.

**Here is the disclaimer: I did not come up with the original concept of Kuroshitsuji! So there : P**

**I love you guys, please review!**


	12. The Third Dinner

**Warning this chapter contains a song. Instead of paraphrasing the song i just put it in the story. Now it is time to answer the reviews**

_**p3paula:**_** Thanks for all the reviews. I'm glad you find the story interesting.**

_**iHiatus**_** and _CriMsonxLadY: _Yes, the story is depressing and its about to get even more so.**

**And don't worry! Her revenge will come soon, but you have to survive the next few chapters. Have Fun and on to the story**

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Mother and Lady Longwood hosted a third dinner party in honor of our engagement. This one was for all of London. Nearly every noble family was invited even the Queen, although that was more of a formality than anything else. It was held at the Longwood manor because the manor itself was bigger, whereas the Howsham manor had more extensive gardens. Mother took care of the guests, pairing the gentlemen with the ladies and their seating arrangements. Lady Longwood decorated the parlor and dining room with fall colors. Together they decided on a menu to suit the multitude of guests.

We gathered in the parlor and paired off with our dinner partners. We entered the dining room and were greeted with a rich setting of red and gold. Before dinner commenced, Alan and I were introduced as a newly engaged we were introduced, my father gave a toast saying how wonderful and beautiful his daughter was and how lucky Alan was to have found someone like me. He spewed complete bullshit and received applause for his fatherly blessings.

After the toast, the servants brought forth menus for the guests to choose their food from. The selection was even more extravagant than the food served to the families.

_First Course_

Vermicelli Soup**Duchess Soup

_Second course_

Trout**Lobster Rissoles**Broiled Salmon

Turbot in Lobster Sauce**Filet de Soles**Whitebait

_Entrée_

Roast Quarter of Lamb**Canards a la Rouennaise

Mutton Cutlets**Braised Beef

_Third course_

Green Peas**Compote of Cherries**Quails

Neapolitan Cakes**Gooseberry Fool

Once dinner finished the men and women separated, men to drink their beer and women to drink their tea. After a while the men came into the parlor and everyone separated into their little groups.

As a couple we traveled among the various groups of guests accepting good wishes and answering questions. The thing that seemed to worry people the most was the date of our union.

"But aren't you worried? Surely you've heard the rhyme, 'Marry in May and rue the day'?"

I replied to that question. "I don't believe in superstitions. I love the month of May."

"And what about Friday? 'Friday for losses' remember?"

"There is no reason to believe in the superstitions. And we are going to prove that by marrying on the thirteenth."

"Friday the Thirteenth? That is even more unlucky." I left Alan to deal with them, and wandered around listening to the other guests.

"Such a cute couple."

"How fortunate for you, your son finally found a bride."

"Now both Howsham daughters are adults. I remember when Anya was no taller than my knee."

"Did you see her ring?"

The inane conversations ranged all over. So many voices, so many questions, I couldn't take anymore. I fled from the room and wandered the halls of the otherwise silent manor.

-#$#-

As I wandered the halls, I looked into the various rooms to see what was in them. Some were locked and others were only sitting rooms. I finally came across a room that was empty save for an object covered by a sheet. The cloth was covered in layers of dust, as if it had been there for years. I slid the sheet off and revealed a glossy black grand piano.

I ran my hand down the side of such a pristine instrument. _How could anyone hide this treasure away?_ Then I remembered what Alan had said. ~~My father would play the piano every night for Mother and me. When he died, she had the servants remove the piano from the den and place it somewhere where she couldn't see. ~~

I opened the piano up and examined the strings and the hammers. _Everything seems to be in working condition._ I played a few keys, the angelic resonance sounded as if it had been tuned yesterday. I sat down and began to play. Clearing my mind of all my emotions, they spilled out onto the black and white keys: pain, sadness, abandonment, fear, and loss. Words formed in my mind, and I whispered them, filling the music with an even deeper meaning.

_You lie silent there before me  
Your tears they mean nothing to me  
The wind howling at the window  
The Love you never gave  
I give to you  
Really don't deserve it  
But now there's nothing you can do  
So sleep in your only memory of me  
My dearest mother  
Here's a lullaby to close your eyes (goodbye)  
It was always you that I despised  
I don't feel enough for you to cry (oh well)  
Here's a lullaby to close your eyes (goodbye)  
Goodbye...  
Goodbye...  
So insignificant  
Sleeping dormant deep inside of me  
Are you hiding away lost  
Under the sewers  
Maybe flying high in the clouds  
Perhaps you're happy without me  
So many seeds have been sown in the field  
And who could sprout up so blessedly  
If I had died  
I would have never felt sad at all  
You will not hear me say I'm sorry  
Where is the light  
I wonder if it's weeping somewhere  
Here's a lullaby to close your eyes (goodbye)  
It was always you that I despised  
I don't feel enough for you to cry (oh well)  
Here's a lullaby to close your eyes (goodbye)  
Goodbye...  
Goodbye..._

I didn't realize anyone was listening until a heard a light clapping coming from the parlor entrance. I turned and saw Ciel, Sebastian, and Thomas. "That was very beautiful, Lady Natasha. You certainly have a talent for the piano, not to mention singing."

"Thank you, my Lord. However I am not perfect."

"You speak English and Russian fluently; you dance as if you were grace itself; you can play chess, the piano, and sing. Are you sure you're not perfect?"

"I can't sew, speak French, or even arrange flowers. According to my family that makes me far from perfect." I turned to face Ciel, to stop myself from brooding again, "May I ask what you are doing here, instead of at the party?"

"I should probably as you the same thing. But to answer your question, I was about to leave to escort Lizzy home."

"Well, thank you for coming. I hope you'll be able to attend the wedding. It should prove to be a most interesting event."

"I look forward to it. Good evening." With that, Ciel left with Sebastian.

I looked over at my butler, "And what are you scribbling in that notebook?"

"I was writing down the music and the lyrics of the song you just played. With a few tweaks and a few extra instruments, it may prove to be a profitable song."

"You're dreaming."I played another chord and my mother found me.

"Natasha!" I hit a bad chord. "This is a dinner party for you and your fiancé. You should be in the other room greeting people and accepting their good wishes, not playing that god forsaken instrument."

"I was only practicing."

"Perhaps you should play for your fiancé and your guests instead of yourself." She gave me the look that meant no arguments.

"Yes, Mother." _But, I'm not sure this will go over well with Lady Longwood._

She went back to the guests and announced that I would be playing a special piece on the piano for everyone. They came into the room and stood around the piano no doubt expecting a version of Mozart, Bach, or something of the like. Alan placed himself next to the piano, smiling encouragingly at me. _He probably thinks I'm nervous about playing for others. He should have confidence in me._

Once everyone was settled, I started playing. I played a simple melody, chords and a small scale variation with despondent undertones, starting slow then gradually gaining momentum. Although there was no real preparation behind the song, it seemed to bring alive just how hopeless my future truly was…

When I finished, I turned and curtsied to the crowd. Everyone applauded, my mother and father nodded their heads, and Alan gave me another smile. Even Lady Longwood was smiling, but whether it was the piano being played once again or the fact her son was smiling I would never know. I scanned the faces of my audience. _How many actually heard the message behind the music?_

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**To hear the first song, go to this link. The song doesn't start right away; you have to wait about 50 seconds. www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=8xy1o69HeM8&feature=related**

**Here is the link for the song she plays for all of the guests. See if you can hear her message: www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=DfWA4A39vAc&p=0F663FA45A2DC0F2&index=6&feature=BF **

**Replace the (dot) with a . and you should be able to watch the videos.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the concept of Kuroshitsuji, Ciel Phantomhive, Sebastian Michaelis, or Lady Elizabeth. They all belong to Toboso-san. The song "Room of Angel" belongs to Akira Yamaoka (1****st**** song). The song "I saw Daddy today" belongs to Yann Tiersen (2****nd**** song).**

**Claimer: I own Natasha, Thomas, and all of the other characters. The storyline is also mine.**


	13. Waiting

**Hope all of my fellow Americans had a pleasant Thanksgiving Day and Happy Leftovers Day ; )**

**Ye be warned, there be another song in this chapter. But no matter, enjoy the chapter.**

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Our engagement lasted for seven months, and during that time nothing happened. Oh sure, we talked, went on walks and outings, but nothing exciting happened. It was like before, but now I only had one gentleman to talk to. The only change in my life was my sister. Whenever my wonderful butler walked or stood too close to Anya she flinched. And if he held a knife in her presence, she would shake slightly and put a hand to her neck. It was quite entertaining and sometimes I would have Thomas do it on purpose. I think the only other interesting thing that happened was her having the baby. It was a boy they named Alexander. He actually liked me. The little guy would cry if my sister tried to take him from my arms. Other than that my life was as normal as ever.

-#$#-

A week before our wedding, Alan asked me to compose a song to commemorate our love for one another. Because it was music I gladly took on the task, and I was able to use it as an excuse to avoid my family and the jubilant celebration of the marriage.

I had only one problem writing it, I felt no love for him or anyone else for that matter. I would sit and stare at the keys for hours, but nothing came to me. Normally, I would just play out my emotions on the black and white stripes, but I just couldn't bring myself to play about love.

After three days, I was ready to give up. On the fourth day I just slammed on the keys creating a really horrible chord that grated against the ears of the dead. Thomas walked in at that point with tea and raspberry tarts, small cups of flakey crust filled whipped cream and a pile of ripe red raspberries. "Having trouble with the song, my lady?" he asked with false concern.

"You could say that. I just don't know how to play that emotion." I took a tart from the plate, took a bite and looked him in the eyes.

The music clicked.

The tart still in my mouth, I spun around on the bench and began to play various chords, keys, and bridges. I wrote them down with great speed, creating a song that surprised even me.

When I finally finished, I noticed Thomas was sitting in the corner polishing the silver utensils. "Why are you still sitting here?"

"I was waiting for you to finish. I wanted to hear what you song sounded like when it was complete. Just listening to the work sounded beautiful."

I blushed, "Oh, well if you're sure." I started to play the music and I added the words in…

_When all of the color runs together  
I'll keep you company  
In one glorious harmony  
Waltzing with destiny forever  
Dance me into the night  
Underneath the moon shining so bright  
Time dances whirling past  
I gaze through the looking glass  
And feel just beyond my grasp is heaven  
Sacred geometry  
Where movement is poetry  
Visions of you and me forever  
Dance me into the night  
Underneath the moon shining so bright  
Let the dark waltz begin  
Oh let me wheel - let me spin  
Let it take me again  
Turning me into the light  
_

After I ended the song, I looked at him. In a way, I guess the song was for him. He was and is my caretaker, my companion, my friend, and possibly something more. I wondered if he noticed what he meant to me. His eyes were filled with happiness, or as much happiness a demon can have. (**A/N: Imagine Sebastian's face as he is petting a cat)**

I smiled. It felt...good to make him happy. My heart started racing slightly and I blushed again.

"That was very beautiful. But," I blinked at him, "it doesn't seem to fit the relationship between you and Lord Alan."  
"I'm only going to perform the piano." I looked away, "The words are for my heart."

"Is that how you feel about Lord Alan?"

"Not, not him." I stood and left the room.

-#$#-

The next day I met with Alan for the last time before our wedding. We held a nice little get together for our families at my manor. It was small and quiet, a time for them to get to know each other. The night went as well as the dinner parties with the same conversations. The only difference was my performance.

I played the altered waltz for him and our families, saying how it described my feelings of love and commitment towards my soon-to-be husband. They all applauded, save for my sister, and Alan kissed my cheek praising my work.

I didn't blush…My heart didn't race… I only felt glad my music was appreciated. I guess I never realized how deep my feelings for my demon butler went.

The evening continued with more of the monotonous dinner talk until Alan and I said our chaste goodbyes and left to finish preparing for the wedding.

**

* * *

**

Sorry about the seven month time skip, but planning a wedding is very annoying not to mention boring. I'm going by today's standards, I don't even want to imagine planning a Victorian wedding in full. *shudders*

**The song Natasha sings here is Dark Waltz by Hayley Westerna. I altered the lyrics slightly but thought most of it described how she felt about Thomas. I don't know, maybe I just insinuated that connection. Oh well. Here is the link: www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=Oewp-s_4wZQ dark waltz- hayley westenra**

_**Natasha:**__**And, I owe all inspiration to the raspberry tart I was eating.**_

**Okay. Oh, and she finally admitted it. She finally admitted she like Thomas! **

_**No I didn't!**_

**Yes, you did.**

_**The damn tart made me loose lipped. *blushes***_

**A minute ago you were saying the tart inspired the song.**

_**That's different.**_

**Whatever. Here's the absolutely wonderful disclaimer: I do not own the concept of Kuroshitsuji or the song. But, I own everything else. **

**Virtual raspberry tarts to all! Maybe they'll make us all a little loose lipped.**

_**HEY!**_


	14. His Motives

**GitaMerah asked if I could explain why Natasha's family is so intent on killing her. So here is a filler chapter explaining the family's relationship. You have to wait another week for revenge. Mwhahahahahaha!**

**Yvonne (Natasha's mother) never wanted to kill her daughter, she just wants her to be safe, hence the Faustian contract. Anya's reason for trying to remove her little sister is nothing more than an over blown, one-sided sibling rivalry. However, her father is whole other story.**

* * *

I sat outside her room, cringing each time she screamed. The doctor and his assistants were constantly shouting and yelling. _This did not happen when Anya was born. Something is very wrong._ I cringed again as her scream echoed in the hall. I was happy my sister took my little girl to the theatre with her children while this was happening. The whole scenario would have traumatized her.

The screams continued well into the night, and then the room went silent. The silence startled me more than her first scream. The doctor came out with a serious look on his face. Prepared to face the worst, I walked over, "How is she?"

"She'll live and so will the child. Your new daughter is quite healthy."

"Oh, thank God."

"But there is a problem," he grunted.

"What do you mean?"

He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, "Her womb was torn somehow during one of her contractions. We did what we could, but if she tries to have another child, not only will it die but so will she." The world went still as I tried to understand what he said. "She will need plenty of bed rest and I recommend you hire a nursemaid to take care of your daughter while your wife is indisposed." I just nodded, not really listening to him.

"You can see her now, sir," one of the assistants called bringing me back to my senses. I walked into the room and sat down next to Yvonne. She looked so peaceful, sleeping away her pain. I held her hand and watched contently as her chest rose and fell with her breaths. Another assistant brought a bundle over to me. "Here she is my lord, your new daughter."

_Daughter…another large expense for me to deal with. _My mind thought irrationally business-like. _Not only has she robbed me of a chance to have a son, but she will also cost me another fortune to marry off._ I looked at the detestable child and she peered back with soul piercing blue eyes. She had the same onyx hair and pale complexion as Yvonne, but those eyes matched neither of us. I asked the doctor, and he said that every so often a child didn't match the parents. I found that I did not mind, it gave me another reason for wanting to remove her from my life. Those eyes…it felt as if they could read me and everything I have ever done.

-#$#-

Using my contacts from my deals with the underground, I searched for someone who could take care of my problem. It took over half a year of searching and avoiding the Queens' guard dog to find someone who could find me a killer. The man offered me a deal and I accepted. In return for opium laced Indian girls for his little enterprise in the slums, he gave me the address of some girl called Jane.

I found her in the slums near the Thames, living in a flat right next to the river. I knocked on the door.

"Who is it?" a gruff voice answered from within.

"I'm a potential client. I have a job that requires your...special skills."

I heard a chain being undone followed by the door opening slightly. She looked out at me, "What makes you think I can help?"

"The Snake said you could take care of my problem."

"And what's your problem?"

"I need a child from one of the noble families permanently removed. You will receive 50 £ now and 50 once the job is done."

"Make it 75 and 75 and I'm in."  
"55 and 60."

"Done." We shook hands and I gave her the details.

"I'll have it done in a month. Do you need any proof?"

I shook my head, "I'll know. And, when I do I'll meet you here to give you your second payment." I handed her 55 £ and left.

-#$#-

I spent the next month in India on business, giving Jane a chance to do her job. When I returned home, the manor was in chaos. Assuming that it meant she had succeeded, I asked what had happened. "A new maid tried to kill Miss Natasha the day before yesterday."

"Tried?"

"We assume she was caught by Amy (**a/n: Amy was the nursemaid)** because we found her standing over Amy's body with a knife. There was blood everywhere. She jumped out the window and ran away."

"Was this woman caught?

"Yes sir. They caught her last night."

I simply nodded and walked up to the nursery. Yvonne was sitting by the window watching Anya play with _it_. When Yvonne saw me, she threw herself into my arms and cried into my shoulder. The object of my fury was staring at us with her blue eyes as if she knew what my plans were. I suppressed a shudder as I comforted my wife.

-#$#-

The next day I rushed to the Tower and bribed my way past the guards and into her cell.

"What the hell happened? You are supposed to the best! How could you mess this up?" I shouted at her. She winced at the volume of my voice.

"Something went wrong."

"What?"

"Are you going to yell again or let me explain what happened?" I stopped pacing and nodded for her to continue. She sighed, "After the nurse put the girl down for a nap and left the room, I made my move. I went in, locked the door, and shut the curtains. I was hoping to suffocate her with a pillow. When I moved to cover her face her eyes opened. I swear those bright blue eyes saw through my soul. She didn't scream or cry, she just stared at me." The cold blooded murder shuddered, "I quickly covered her face and she didn't struggle."

"So, what went wrong?"

"The nurse rush back in like she forgot something. She saw me standing over the crib and started shouting. She tried to pull me away from the crib, I may have over reacted, but I pulled out my knife and plunged it down. She screamed, the servants came, and you know the rest."

I nodded my head appearing calm, but my mind was screaming, _How could this have failed. Not only do I have to bother with this trial and try to keep my connection undiscovered, but I also have to find another person for the job._ After a few more minutes of silence, I turned to leave when she grabbed my hand. "What will happen to me?" I moved my hand from form hers and walked to the door, "Don't worry. I'll take care of it." I left the cell and shut the door, leaving her in darkness.

-#$#-

At the trial I bribed the judge for an immediate execution. Upon hearing the verdict, the Killer Jane started at me with trepidation. I walked by her on my way out and whisper in her ear, "I can't very well let them know my part in this, now can I? Enjoy heaven."

She started shouting, "You bastard! I hope you rot in the hell you so proudly made. I hope everyone you trust turns on you! I hope…" TH last part was muffled as the guards dragged her back to prison. I sighed, _Now I have to find a new person for the job. Maybe I should try to have her abducted first this time…_ I continued musing throughout the entire carriage ride home.

I entered the manor and saw my wife with the despicable creature in her arms. She was conversing with a tall man with black hair and a black tailcoat. I slipped behind her, "Good afternoon, Yvonne."

"Oh, William. Look Natasha, your father is back."

I grimaced. "Who is this?"

"This is…Thomas, Thomas Fitzgerald. He's Natasha's new caretaker. He will be perfect protection. He _will_ keep her safe."She seemed extremely proud of finding someone to protect her child. I just smiled and let my wife have her dreams. Nodding to the new servant, I went up to my study.

I tried twice more to get rid of the nuisance, but everyone I hired disappeared. Not even the underground knew what happened to them. My thoughts kept going back to the man whom my wife claimed would protect _her._ He never left the girl's side becoming her tall shadow. But, I could never convince myself that he did it.

I gave up trying to kill her, but I never lost my hatred. Keeping my distance, I tried to find a young man I could marry her to as quickly as society allowed. Now after nearly eighteen years I would finally be rid of her. She is marrying the Longwood boy today, taking her out of my life forever.

**

* * *

**

And that brings up to date on her father's side of the story. If you are still confused you can group him with the people who blame their children for the women dying at childbirth and for being the product of rape. It is not fair or right, but that's how their minds work.

_**GitaMerah:**_** I hope this explains their motives well enough. And don't worry, her revenge will be as sweet as can be for a Victorian Socialite.**

_**Furballmews: **_**I'm seriously glad you're enjoying the story. And thank you for the complement.**

**Dont forget to review.**

**EDIT: I feel dumb, i misspelled GitaMerah's name. It is fixed now but still... *hangs head in shame***


	15. The Final Day

**Hey guys and gals! It's time for revenge. Here is the final installment of Her Butler.**

**When I posted this chapter, the story had 4,950 hits. (yes I counted) Thank you so much for reading this story. **

**Thanks to**_** bleedingcrimson, Private Oak, Refrigerator, Furballmews, GitaMerah, LittleLovesaLot, Zira the insane one, CHIDORI-SHIORI, Noir The Confused, pixie smiles, RenKun-Sensei, p3paula,**_**_jade23741, SweetInsanity89, theblackchaos737, CriMsonxLadY, MasqueradeRoseSuki, Innocent Chaos_, _supaspazxluv_, _Ayu-chan274, EastRift, Azurra de Vinci, Roxy Demon, MsMarauder17, ninjafox369, NarutoFallenAngel123, Eudora Amaris, toucanmel94, risi, _and_ Night's-whisper18_ for favoriting the story and/or adding it to their story-alerts. **

**I want to extend a special thanks to **_**RenKun-Sensei, p3paula,**_** and **_**jade23741 **_**for giving me plenty of encouraging reviews on my chapters. **

**Now, onto the final chapter.**

* * *

In the dressing room at the church I looked at myself in the mirror. My attire was perfectly matched to one of the rhymes that dominated a girl's wedding.

_**Something old…**_My mother gave me a broach from Russia, "I do not give this to you lightly. It goes to the youngest daughter in our family. The girl who wears this on her wedding day will have luck and prosperity brought down upon her family." _But not me, right?_

_**Something new…**_My gown came from Paris, designed by Worth and altered by Thomas. It was white silk with a full skirt, fine lace on my sleeves, and sheer silk over my bust.

_**Something borrowed…**_My sister allowed me to borrow her silver tiara to hold up my veil. The tiara was a gift from George to her for their wedding. "Take good care of it. Don't lose it." _No words of wisdom or good wishes, just orders._

_**Something blue…**_Alan presented me with a stunning necklace with diamonds and a deep blue sapphire. "They pale in comparison to your eyes, my dear." _How sweet._

_**And a lucky sixpence in your shoe…**_In my embroidered white flat shoe, they slipped a sixpence for luck and wealth. I took it out as soon as I was alone, and placed it in the hand of the maid who did my hair. She needed it more than I did.

Anya and my cousin Mary chatted behind me. As my bridesmaids, they both wore rose colored, full-skirted dresses and waist length veils. They were waiting with me to keep me company and to encourage me to take this chance at a new life in the adult world. That's what they were supposed to be doing, but instead they were remembering their own weddings. Giggling at the details that proper society would scorn upon hearing, they left me to my own devices.

In truth, I really did not mind that they ignored me. It gave me time to think over my plans for the future. The only component of today I had no control over was the actions of the Earl of Phantomhive.

During a visit Alan and I made to Ciel's manor a couple months before, I presented Sebastian with important papers to give to the young lord after my wedding. What actions he would take from there I had no clue, but I hoped they would be adventitious to my plans.

My mother entered the dressing room drawing me out of my revere. Beaming brighter than the sun she addressed us, "Ladies, it is time."

Yes, it was finally time. I would finally reveal the truth and be free of this life. I looked at my reflection one last time, and for the first time in over a year I saw a genuine smile on my face. I left the room and prepared to walk into the church hall to take my final steps in life.

-#$#-

The church was covered in white lilies, and the sun shone through the colored panels of the stained glass windows bathing the building in warm light. The guests sitting in the pews chatted, laughed, and smiled in anticipation of the ceremony.

Lord Alan Longwood was finally marrying, and his bride was incredible. A dark beauty with family ties to Russia, Natasha seemed intelligent, sweet, and caring. Those who had attended the Queen's annual ball spoke of her grace when dancing, and those who were at the dinner party described her angelic piano skills.

The music started and the bridal party entered. First came Lady Longwood escorted by her brother, then Lady Howsham escorted by her husband. Two little girls with baskets of petals covered the aisle with soft pink roses. Then Natasha entered, and her beauty was breath taking. She wore an all white dress with a ribbon around her waist that tied into a bow in the back. A sliver broach adorned the ribbon, on her neck sat a necklace of diamonds and a sapphire, and in her hair a silver tiara held her sheer floor-length veil. Her blue eyes sparkled and her black hair shown against the white of her dress. Her bridesmaids, dressed in rose colored dresses, followed her, carrying the train of the veil.

They walked to the altar, and then separated into their assigned positions, the parents into the pews, the bridesmaids to the right, and the bride to the right of the groom. The priest began the ceremony with the traditional words, "We gather here today to bring this woman and this man into holy matrimony," and the beautiful ceremony went from there.

About an hour into the wedding ceremony, Alan began to recite his vows to his bride. "With this hand, I will lift your sorrows." He lifted his right hand. He picked up the cup in his left hand, "Your cup will never be empty for I will be your wine." He put the cup down and lit the candle to his right, "With this candle, I will light your way in darkness." He turned to face Natasha. He raised her hand, "With this ring, I ask you to be mine." He placed the ring on her finger.

Natasha responded with the musical "I do."

The priest said the final words, "Let those who wish this union not to be speak now or forever hold your peace." No one objected, so they signed their names in the court's book making their marriage legal on all sides. The priest turned to the groom, "You may now kiss the bride."

The new couple shared a chaste kiss, sealing their marriage. They pulled apart and a bright pink light started to glow. Alan looked down and saw the light was coming from Natasha's chest. Out of fear for his new bride, he tore the fabric from her chest (quite easily I might add) revealing a shimmering pentacle in the center of her chest.

Alan took a step back towards the priest. Everyone just stared at the eerie glow coming from the girl. Then, there was a collective gasp as a man materialized out of thin air behind her. He had black hair, red eyes, and dressed like a butler. He placed a hand on her shoulder, a hand with a glowing pentacle. She looked up at the man and smiled, "I know, it's time to go."She turned to follow the man when someone screamed "NO!"

Natasha's mother scrambled to the altar. She tried to grab Natasha's arm but the man pushed her back, putting a protective arm around the girl's shoulders. Her mother pointed at the man, "You bastard! You swore you would take your payment and leave once she was safely married! Take your money and go! And take that cursed pentacle with you!"

A peel of silver laughter rang across the now silent church. "You really are a fool, Mother."

"What?"

"Weren't you listening when you made the contract with the _demon_? He takes a soul as his payment, not money." Her blue eyes flashed with contempt as whispers of "demon" surrounded the church. "When you refused to make the sacrifice for your infant daughter, you left her to pay the debt." The church was dead silent save for the slight whimper that came from her mother. "So, congratulations, Yvonne Howsham," she continued sarcastically. "You sold your daughter's soul to hell to further your own ambitions."

"Natasha, I-I-I didn't mean to… This wasn't what I wanted. I only wanted your future to be…"

"I'm the sacrifice; don't try for me, not now. When I bleed, I bleed alone." As she spoke, her voice filled with sadness, "Once, I would've die to know you loved me. Not anymore. Maybe someday you'll say to no one: 'Isn't something missing?', but I doubt it." She stepped back into the man's arms. "Goodbye." They were enveloped in cloud of black feathers and disappeared.

-#$#-

The priest was praying for guidance, the groom was trying to process the events, her sister was gritting her teeth and muttering something about an ungrateful brat and a tiara, and her father was trying to coax her mother off the floor. Everyone else was babbling about a scandal and the meaning behind such heresy. We just walked out of the church. After all, the main event was over, the encore would come with the rumors.

"Well, it was certainly interesting. A bit flamboyant for my taste," Sebastian commented as we walked.

I smirked at him, "Such a public display will be remembered for a long time."

"Humans tend to forget details, my lord. I do not believe they will remember what really happened," he contradicted.

"They may not remember the demon, but they will at least remember that the Howsham girl ran way with her butler after she married. Either way her family is ruined." I chuckled, "They tried so hard to mold the girl into a perfect woman, they didn't notice the crack made the day the contract was signed."

In the carriage I asked Sebastian to give me the papers Natasha had left for me. On top of documents containing eye witness accounts, confessions of criminals, and paper trails of money, sat a note from the newly departed soul.

_Dear Ciel,_

_I am presenting you with evidence pertaining to my near assassination seventeen years ago. As you will see, the man responsible was my father, William Howsham. You will also find evidence of misdealings he has conducted in London's underground. I know I have no right to ask this of you, but I hope you will deal with him as befits the Queen's guard dog._

_Sincerely, Natasha_

I grinned after reading the note. "It seems she is not done with her revenge." I looked through the papers more closely as we continued back to my mansion. "I believe we can make an interesting game out of this."

Sebastian smiled his annoying, all knowing smile, "Yes, my lord."

-#$#-

I carried her into the ruins that would be her tomb. Broken arches, stone pillars, and crumbling stairs surrounded the dead courtyard I stopped in. When I placed her down on the ground she began to explore. "Is this your home?" she asked with an innocence she lost around the age of six.

I looked around at the old stone that surrounded us, "In a way, yes. It is the place I bring all my souls to be devoured."

"Thomas, could we dance?" she asked. Her pale face smiled at me with a smile of happiness that she never wore in life. Her wedding dress glimmered in the pale light of the crescent moon accenting the glowing seal on her chest, a picture perfect bride for death.

I bowed and held out my hand, "My lady."

We danced to no music, but from the way she moved I could tell she was listening to something in her head. We spun and circled until she nearly fell from the exhaustion of carrying a soul that was no longer hers.

I picked her up and carried her to her final resting place. I sat her on the stone bench and pushed a strand of midnight black hair behind her ear.

"Thomas," she whispered, "one more request…" I leaned closer, "Make it sweet…"

I smiled, "Yes, my lady."

**

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**

This is what Natasha is thinking as she tells her mother off: www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=Q5RmCBpfBUk

The song Natasha and Thomas are dancing to is here: www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=KylpSeJKQCQ

The vows are from the movie

**Corpse Bride****. I couldn't find Victorian vows anywhere else.**

**Final Disclaimer: I do not own Kuroshitsuji, Ciel Phantomhive, or Sebastian Michaelis. I also do not own ****Corpse Bride****, "Missing" (1****st**** song), or "Haunted Mansion theme" (2****nd**** song).**

**Claimer: All characters (with exception of those listed in the disclaimer) and the storyline of **_**Her Butler**_** belong to me, MTSkelly (aka unami). **

**The machine lies the story was really only 15,278 words, the rest is my little author notes. ****I hope you all had as much fun reading it as I did writing. I'll see you in my next story (whenever that'll be). *waves***

**Please leave a review of the story before you go. Thank you!**


	16. Author's Note

Just a quick update on Her Butler.

I finally finished the pictures of my OC's. The links are on my profile page. There are more to come.

And there will be NO direct sequel to this story. Natasha is at peace with Mozart and the other souls Thomas has devoured, so I will leave her be. Maybe I'll come up with another soul for Thomas to take...maybe.

Oh and thanks to _wanderingmusician_ and _Lady-Kanami_ for the reviews. And thank you _OneWhoNeverStopsCrying, Red-Angel07, Kiraelin, Wildfury, Hazed Nether Ink, obssesiveicequeen, snow642, April Phantomhive, Renrinrin_, and _Pearlmegan_ for adding this story to you faves/story alerts.

Have a great day! *waves*


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